Think Backwards, Take Nothing Personally, Face the Fear

It started with a riddle.

One day in early 2021, I came across a puzzle that made me stop and think. It went like this:

A type of algae doubles every 24 hours. It takes 60 days to cover an entire lake. How long does it take to cover half?

I answered “30 days” without much thought. But then I saw the real answer. If the lake is full on Day 60 and the algae doubles daily, then it must have been half full on Day 59.

That shift in thinking was powerful. I had solved it by going forward, but the answer was clearer when I started from the end. Retrograde analysis, thinking backward, often reveals solutions that forward reasoning hides. It’s now one of my favorite tools when I feel stuck.

Even typos taught me something.

I once read this sentence:

After reading this sentence, you will realise that the the brain doesn’t recognise a second “the.”

At first, I didn’t notice the repetition. But when I read the sentence backward, word by word, I spotted it instantly. Since then, I’ve used that trick to check my own writing. It works better than most grammar tools when my brain gets too comfortable.

Then there was the meeting that frustrated me.

I had prepared carefully for a talk. I had structured the slides, rehearsed my key points, and focused on delivery. But once I started speaking, several people looked down at their phones. Some typed. One even started chatting with a colleague. I felt ignored and disrespected.

Later that day, I told a friend about it. She asked a simple question.

“Are you sure they weren’t taking notes or looking something up?”

I wasn’t sure. I had assumed the worst. That moment taught me an important lesson. Stop taking things so personally.

Maybe their reaction had nothing to do with me. Maybe they were distracted for their own reasons. Or maybe they really weren’t paying attention. But I couldn’t control that. What I could control was my response.

I also learned to speak honestly. If I feel hurt, I can say it. If I feel overlooked, I can name that feeling. But I don’t need to carry resentment around or blame others without understanding their side.

And through it all, I remind myself that my value does not depend on how others respond. I bring value because I show up and stay true to my work.

The hardest part was realizing I wasn’t lazy. I was afraid.

For weeks, I kept putting off a project I cared about. I told myself I was too busy or not in the right mindset. But that wasn’t true.

I was scared it wouldn’t turn out well. I feared judgment, failure, and the sense that it wouldn’t matter. That fear disguised itself as procrastination. It looked like laziness, but it came from a deeper place.

I remembered a quote I once read.

“Do one thing every day that scares you.”

So I started doing that. Not dramatic things. Sometimes just sending a message I had been avoiding or finishing a draft I wasn’t sure about. Facing the fear changed my energy. I stopped avoiding the work. I started trusting myself more.

The hesitation began to fade. Not all at once, but steadily. Because once I saw the fear, I could deal with it.

These are not abstract ideas to me. They are habits I use every day.

I think backwards when I feel stuck. I try not to take things personally when people react in ways I don’t expect. And when I feel like avoiding something, I ask myself what I’m afraid of.

Each insight came from a real moment. Each one challenged how I thought. I return to them often, not because I have mastered them, but because they keep me honest.

And I need that, especially when no one else is watching.